Working Hard Against Yourself

This isnt a blog for the common reader, or really a blog for any reader. This is more of a blog for myself. If you choose to read then I will greatly appreciate you for that, but if not,  then I wouldn’t blame you. It’ll probably be a ramble or just a page full of me trying to make a point that I never actually get too.

***Update: I made a point. You just have to search.

Today I realized something that has dramatically changed the outlook of myself.

Today I realized that yes, I am working hard but I am working hard against myself.

What I do on the daily is not beneficial to myself. I’ve been working so hard for so long but I have been pushing in the wrong direction. I have been pushing to be a people pleaser, to be a person that other people want to be around, a person that will make other people happy. When in reality, I should have been pushing to find myself, pushing to make myself happy, pushing to be a person that I want to be around.

I work to make other people proud of me instead of working to make myself proud.

I work to make others like me instead of working to make me like me.

I dont have a negative physical outlook on myself, I have a negative emotional outlook on myself.

I’m not the person I use to be. I use to be proud, confident and strong. Now, I am never good enough. I lost the person I was because I was focusing on the lifes of others.

Today I realized that I need to make a change.

Today I realized that I will never be good enough for the people around me. But, I can be good enough for myself.

I can be confident in my large, loud and obnoxious personality.

I can be confident in my overly annoying abundant amount of love I have for others.

I can be proud of my weaknesses and proud of my struggles. Because I know that no matter what the only person I have to make happy is myself.

I know that no matter what I am strong enough and I will always be strong enough to pull myself through.

I know that no matter how little I may be in comparison to the rest of the world, I have a HUGE purpose.

And I will never reach that purpose without loving who I am. Annoying, obnoxious, overbearing, loving, caring and compassionate.

Never stop fighting to find yourself.

Just make sure you’re working, pushing and fighting for yourself and not against yourself.

You are strong. You are beautiful. You are UNIQUE.

I am Beautifully and Confidently me.

You are Beautifully and Confidently you.

“She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future” Proverbs 31:25